Here we go … that time of year when we’re all full of fabulous intentions, or caught up in the rush of good intentions, goal setting, life planning and being all inspired.
Those who provide services and products to support these well intentioned resolutions (and possible revelations) are waiting in the wings, lurking like sharks and ready to leap in for the kill.
Nah, only joking.
They’re out there, blatantly promoting their wears and cashing in on the current elevated inspiration and motivation and social phenomena that is New Year’s Resolutions.
This is not necessarily a bad thing. Hey, if you have a goal and the appropriate determination, and there’s someone there who can offer you the support, resources, hand holding, encouragement, coaching … whatever … that you need, right now, then take advantage of that!
Whether it is Living the Life You Want, or Be A Success in Ten Weeks or Less, or losing weight, or being fit, or just Being Your Best You there is someone there to help you out with that.
Unfortunately, it is very easy to get swept up in what we “should” be doing – especially around this time of year; the resolving to achieve any given number of goals, many of which are plucked from some stock standard list because it’s just … well, what is expected really.
We may launch at these goals, all twenty-seven of them at once, with a gusto.
Alternatively, we may experience a spark of desire, followed by a crushing overwhelm and lighting up a smoke, pouring a vodka for breakfast, and stuffing your face with a piece of cake, because who the hell can do all of that!?
Therein likes the fundamental issue with this listing of resolutions/goals/desires at this time of year. Not that these goals are necessarily stupid ideas. Indeed, many of them are absolutely brilliant and I wholeheartedly encourage them. Hell, I’ll hold your hand and support you in it all.
The problem lies in the fact that they generally require significant, if not drastic, lifestyle changes. Each of them. One lifestyle change (or habit change if you prefer) is difficult enough. When you’re attempting to tackle several at once, well … fuck that shit! It’s too hard.
And it is.
Again, not suggesting you don’t do it, I’m just suggesting be aware of how difficult it is likely to be and think good and hard about your abilities to adequately, capably and successfully make these changes.
My recommendation is always to choose one – just one – and turn that into Just A Part of Your Life.
Get knowledgeable/educated/informed about ALL aspects of that change, and be prepared.
Doing it all/Having it all
These multiple-itemed lists, replete with expectations and shoulds tend to give the impression that we can do, be, and have all of these things. Ideally by the end of the week, because why the hell do we have to work on them for a whole year?
Whilst I am very much a believer and proponent of women – mothers for the sake of the theme of this website – having it all, and I do believe they can, there is very much a confusion about what ‘having it all’ actually means.
With every second person asking what you’re resolutions are for the coming 12 months, and all manner of advertising and promotion coming your way, along with their ability to get right to the core of your emotions and desires (because they spend a LOT of money on learning just how to do that), it is very easy to include a whole heap of stuff on this list.
Some due to fear of ridicule and ostracism if you don’t partake in the annual ritual of making shit up that you have no real interest in actually doing. So you do it.
Your Best You
I am sounding very down on New Year’s Resolutions, aren’t I?
I don’t mean to. I do think the concept has merit, although I do also think that waiting for the New Year to roll around to implement whatever change you want to make in your life is a bit silly. Being more “I wanna do that, so what they fuck, I’ll just start now” is much more productive and more likely to get you where you want to be.
Also, many of these items listed – and I am speaking generally here, you may very well be right onto this, and if you are, freaking Awesome! – aren’t necessarily things you want to do. They may not be that important to you. Or they may very well not be You at all.
Before you go into the New Year and beat yourself up for not achieving your goals and resolutions, take a good look at your list.
How many of those things do you really, really, want to achieve?
Put a line through those you don’t.
How many of them are You?
Like, I don’t know, if one of your goals is learning to paint with watercolour, and you really do not enjoy that kind of craft and creativity, why is it on there? Why are you even contemplating it? Because it sounds romantic? Because it’s kind of expected (although you may not be able to pinpoint precisely who expects this from you)? Or simply because it’s just something you put on your list, something that you ‘just do’ because, or because you had to put something on your list.
Well, first up, you don’t have to do anything of the sort.
If you really do want to, keep it on there. If not, get rid of the sucker.
It’s All In The Action, Baby
Sadly, the first step in achieving any of your goals is, well, funnily enough, taking the first step.
As mentioned above, doing too many things is more likely to increase your chances of a lighting-up-vodka-drinking-self-deprecating-cake-eating-I’m-a-failure-ing.
So choose one to start with. Just one. On that really means a lot to you, on that you really want to succeed at, and one that you can really, honestly do and WANT to do.
That’s your first step, really.
Work out which one is YOU – and you’ll know because it not only means a lot to you, but you’re also will to go out of your comfort zone, just a little, to get what YOU want.
Then go take the steps – or find out what they are – get what you want happening, happening.
If it is learning how to paint using watercolours, start with finding out where you can do it … stating the obvious, I know, but it can be a little ARGH when you have too much stuff on your list.
You know the drill.
So tell me, who are you? And have you actually made any plans/goals/resolutions for 2015?
Or are you like me and just Do It when the moment appeals and don’t wait for Mondays or new years?