If you could affect, just for a moment, a slightly sanctimonious, self-righteous, and maybe verging on hysterical tone, that would be great.
If you could now read this next paragraph in that tone, that would help immensely in setting the scene for the rest of my ramblings. You got it? Good …
Don’t you know how busy I am? I’m working full time, managing a blog, I have three kids, and my husband runs is own business and I can’t rely on him for much, and I’m doing a business course that requires me to do homework every single night for about two hours each night. YOU should cut me some SLACK!
Ok, you can resume normal voice reading now …
Yeah, I’m busy. Whatevs.
And right now, yes, perhaps I feel like I’m just keeping my head above water. I’m also very aware that that’s because this week has had a few more things on that shook up the routine, and took out some sizeable chunks of time that I’d otherwise use to do the ‘usual’ things in my day or week.
It’s not my busyness that’s bothering me.
What bothers me is the number of people I hear, repeatedly going on and on about how others should give them a break, and in their sanctimonious, self righteous voice, demanding “don’t you know how busy I am?!”
Well, yeah. Cos you keep banging on about all the things you’re doing and telling me (and the world) how busy you are.
I mean, aren’t we all, if you think about it?
“Heh,” you may well be thinking. “What about so and so who sits on their arse every night watching TV?”
I’m sure if you asked them, they’ll tell you how busy they are, too, and be able to give you a very good reason as to why they sit for hours each night, watching TV.
Sitting and watching TV may very well be a good way to chillax at the end of a very busy, very draining day.
Or, it may just be what makes them so very, very busy.
Anyhoo, that’s slightly off topic.
If we take that first paragraph, asking you why you’re not aware of how busy I am, I also need to ask “why should you cut me some slack?”
Did you make me be busy?
Did you force me to take on all these things?
Did you threaten me, or tell me you won’t be my best friend, if I didn’t do them?
Or was it me that chose to do them all?
I think it’s that last one, yes?
Do you agree?
Whilst at times I feel a little overwhelmed and snowed under, I can still remind myself at any time that I don’t have to do any of it.
None of us have to do anything, to be that busy, it is all a choice. I will also fully acknowledge that sometimes the choice isn’t always that easy; and it can be extremely difficult to see that there is even a choice at all.
When you’re about to lose your house because your income has dropped, so you take on a job you don’t enjoy, that has horrible hours that impacts heavily on your family and social loves, to keep your house. I can absolutely see how that plays out, and how it can be incredibly difficult to see that there is any choice at all.
It’s clouded and stuffed down the bottom of the pile whilst you deal with what you have in that moment, all the fears and worries, and the need to save your house. That’s cool, I’m not gonna bang on about how “everything is a choice” and all that really annoying stuff that people like to say when you’re feeling crap and at the bottom of the barrel.
Interestingly, it’s not those who are busy because of these kinds of circumstances that try to convince everyone how busy they are, nor do they demand everyone give them a break.
And if people want to be upset or put out with me because, right now, I can’t help them out with something, then that’s cool. Well, it’s not. It upsets me greatly, but they have just as much choice; and the can choose to understand that it’s not perosnal. It’s just that, in this moment, I am unable to give them the quality or time they need or want, and it wouldn’t be fair on either of us.
I do have some ethics, you know, and doing a half-arsed job for someone doesn’t sit well with me. I’d rather say “no” (for now) than say “yes”, overwhelm myself, and do a half-arsed everyting in all areas of my life.
None of us have to justify to anyone else why we can’t do something for them, but sometimes it’s a nice thing to do, to look after their feelings, and give the proper explanation as to why you can’t. Right now.
Not doing so, when the need calls for it, can leave the other party making up all kinds of reasons why you “refuse” to help, leave them feeling crap, and going about telling others this made up story.
But you don’t have to.
What’s really not cool, though, is demanding others give you a break, cut you some slack, or tiptoe around you because you’re busy as.
The other thing is, they don’t actually care … because, they, too are very busy and important. Far more busy and important than you.
And they’re demanding exactly the same thing.