Early in 2010 I auditioned for a role as TV presenter on a Channel 31 show about parenting – all aspects of it – called Room To Grow.
The producer – or so she said – was terribly excited that I’d even applied, as she’d been hoping I would (she could have just asked, and bought me wine, but you know … :)).
Anyhoo, I auditioned and got the gig.
That was for Season 3. We’re about to kick off filming for Season 4 – very, very exciting. Although, I’m such a shy little petal, I just don’t know how they work with me. But anyhoo …
So … so enamoured was Elisa by my cooking abilities (last time she came over, I made her rice with curry sauce because, well, I have no idea really ….) that she felt me doing a couple of cooking segments would be “fantastic”. Because, apparently, I am very “real” and it would be something that most mums could relate to.
Kind of the gap between the KFC Family bucket and Masterchef, I’m guessing. No?
Anyway, that’s what this weekend consisted of. Me preparing and cooking four meals for the family, to be broadcast during Season 4 of Room To Grow (at this stage, scheduled for October, but will keep you updated).
This consisted of me fighting for a hot shower, as I appear to have an eleven-year-old boy that thinks he is a sixteen-year-old-girl, and can shower for days if you let him.
(He makes up for the nine-year-old who showers every third day or so.)
Finally, I am allowed one, and get to do my own hair and makeup whilst the lighting is set up in the kitchen/lounge/dining area. Meanwhile, there are text messages going back and forth, pertaining to a birthday party Monkey Boy has been invited to, where a sleepover was mentioned, then discarded, and Grumpy Pants and I work out things like parkour, drop offs, pick ups and swapovers of children at various places. Godzilla left to go camping at 8.00 this morning, so he’s out of the mix. Phew.
I pull my Bridget Jones knickers on, in a desperate bid to hold bits in. My children choose this moment to wander in and make all kinds of nice comments, like:
“Euww, what are they?”
“Hey, you could draw a six pack on them!” and,
“Now you look weird. Like, you look all skinny and not like mumsy and stuff. Like before you had me, and that brat and that monster child.”
I made them leave. The house. And locked the door behind them.
We commence our first dish … an Easy Roast Chicken. It is working out rather well.
We start on the second … pasta bolognaise – because I can, and I do. Often.
I am out of carrot. And zucchini. And broccoli. And valium, so it appears. I run up the street, hair and makeup done, in my Croc slippers, because … I don’t know why. They were on my feet at the time and I was in a hurry.
It also starts to rain just as I get to the corner. Of course.
“Where’s the zucchini?” I ask, with an edge to my voice, of the new owner of my local fruit and veg shop. The old lot were used to me. And they’ve moved stuff. But only slightly, so as to fuck with my head.
“To your left,” he says, nicely. With a smile.
“Where? WHERE?” I say.
“To your left,” he repeats.
“NO, seriously, where is it?! I can’t see it!”
“To. Your. Left,” he says. Again. And wanders over and points to my left, and not to the right which was the direction I was looking.
“Oh, there, ah ha ha ha,” I say, grabbing one, not having enough change, and him wanting me to leave his shop immediately so giving me a 90 cent discount on the produce I’ve just purchased.
Commence dish two. Half an hour of filming left, and time tight due to my needing to meet Grumpy Pants to swap child, and the lights blow. Yay.
Finish dish two – and hear the words “That’s a wrap!” Which is a good thing. It means what we filmed is all done for the day.
Race to meet Grumpy Pants at work to collect Chippie, who informs me he does not want to go home, he wants to stay at Daddy’s work. I would, too. They have nice food there, cooked by 9 people. None of those people are me.
Arrive home, fight desire to down several shots of vodka and don pyjamas. Have to drive for fifty minutes to collect Monkey Boy from a birthday party. So I do that instead.
Set coffee machine to make additional cups of coffee for Sunday morning.
Sunday … this morning … Godzilla not back till tomorrow. Grumpy Pants helps set up the lights (because he just has to do stuff like that) and camera, before taking Chippie and Monkey Boy off for an excursion.
Today, we created Crumbed Parmesan Chicken (with chips and vegetables) and my Get Something Cooked And In The Kids Faces Quick Pasta Napoli.
Mostly without incident. Except a few rolls of fat that needed to be contained.
Images to follow … and possibly an incident with a carrot …
Also, massive thanks to Mix Apparel for their amazing support, and their lovely jeans and gorgeous tops that I just didn’t do justice too, but I LOVE!
That’s a wrap!