Gah! I’ve done it again. Neglected this blog, my writing, my outlet … and, yes, to a degree, my kids.
Except for the bits where they have demanded my attention and done the things that make me do the yelling and shaking of head (SMHing for your cool cats – which is something I never say, and I’m not sure why I said it just then … anyhoo …) and muttering under my breath and feeling all the feels.
I could use all the excuses; from being exceptionally busy at my day job, to being a Busy Mum and all the things, to feeling really flat and low, and I’m sure, if I felt like it, I could come up with a millionty and seven excuses.
Just like that.
But I don’t like excuses. They’re a bit … well, insipid, really. They’re nothing but words that allow let one of one’s hook. Or justify it in the perception of others.
Some of it is that I have so many things to say, and it just becomes a little overwhelming when I sit at my laptop and try to get all the things out of my head. So. Many. Things.
Mostly … mostly though … I did the thing I loathe the most. I shoulded.
As in, I kept telling myself I “should” do a blog post, or I “should” sit down and write.
Which only made all the other things, the busyness, the overwhelm, and the deep, dark feels seem bigger and badder than they were.
“Should” clouds my ability to just do the things that could be done.
So, I’m not doing that any more. I’m taking the pressure off myself, and I will damn well right when I want, not when or because I “should”.
Which I would do, right now, but I’ve signed up to Taekwondo classes, and I really need to get going so I’m not late for some kicking, punching, and yelling REALLY LOUDLY!
What’re you up to? You haven’t been shoulding and stupid pressures on yourself, too, have you?
Talk to me …