After today’s efforts, I pulled out all stops to get myself a bath with only one child, not three.
I timed dinner perfectly; we could eat as a family, and we’d finish just prior to the Simpsons starting, which meant I could go have a bath with Chippie, and the older two would watch the Simpsons. Because their lives would end if they missed it.
Despite his full belly from dinner, Chippie still insists that he help himself to boob whilst in the bath. Only, he often gets distracted by floaty things (most of which are supposed to be in the bath) and likes to pull himself up to standing.
Alas, we were early in the bath. It was just as he used my left nipple and grabbed, simultaneously, a handful of pubic hair and my caesarean scar to haul himself across my belly and latch onto the other breast, that his two older, and much larger, brothers splashed into our domain. He turned his head, suction still in full … suck …
Of course, it wasnt’ all bad. I managed to discuss, with Monkey Boy, his homework he was supposed to be doing over the last hour. The homework that would probably take him 15-20 minutes if he actually did it. Homework on ‘idioms’.
We discussed a few, and I did the lazy parent thing where I said “what do you think it means”.
“How about …. sharp as a tack?”
“What does that mean?”
“What do you think it means?” and we discussed whether tacks were sharp or not, and what a tack is.
(I really need to get a life)
“It’s like a nail or a pin or something.”
Godzilla, Knower Of All, says “Yeah. They’re sharp. It could be a paper clip, coz they’re sharp. Or a shark!”
I’ve lately been contemplating a nanny. I wonder how much I’d have to pay them to take on some of my life …