The male contingent of my family went away for a few days.
I was to be left. Home. Alone.
I was FUCKING ECSTATIC!
I like to give my mind, body and soul a break, annually. I bugger off for a night or two, generally and ideally the latter, and just, you know, rejuvenate. Give my mind some time to not have to think about anyone or anything. It has the amazingly remarkable effect of making all the rest of me feel rejuvenated too. As though the state of my mind affects my body!
What a crazy thought!
(That was sarcasm for those incapable of reading sarcasm.)
I haven’t had one of those moments for such a long time. Not one where I don’t have to brain at all. As a result, my brain thing work good not, think can’t.
I picked littlest one up from his last day at school, the middlest one having wandered off home on his own as he has been wont to do this year, and bypassed the supermarket to obtain some milk; the milk levels in our house being in deficit for the last several hours.
Knowing I had a few nights on my lonesome (WOOO!) I thought I’d stock up with a few things that I rather like consuming, and equally rather dislike sharing. So into the trolley went the gourmet crackers, the range of deliciously scrumptious cheeses, a thing of pate, and an ice cream fit for gourmandes.
All the while, I was muttering “Must remember the milk”.
As it turns out, when I arrived home and sneakily snuck the ice cream, cheeses and crackers into a variety of hiding places, I discovered that we remained milkless.
That was going to suck the next morning. Although I could, I guess, always go get some more. At that moment, however, I was helping the family get themselves sorted to leave on their holiday. I did this by saying, every 23 seconds, “so, are you leaving soon?”
After about 83 renditions of this, they did leave and upon the house descended silence. I lovely, welcome, serene quietness.
Myriad weights lifted from me and it hit me just how much I needed this solitude. Ooooh, how I needed it.
The peace was one thing. The amazing levels of productivity were another. The phone call I got from the local beauty therapist telling me she had a cancellation and could I still come in for that one hour facial, massage thing I really wanted and needed was a bonus.
So much productivity, and peace, and relaxation was there, and so much time to watch movies I enjoy, and not having to share my cheese platter or mangos and bacon, oh, all the lovelies packed into so short a time, that I got bored at around 2.36p.m on the second full day of my solitary confinement.
It was about that time, and when the temperature hit the high 30’s that I felt a DIY bikini wax was the Best Idea Ever.
I did have to run out of the bathroom at one stage, wax drying on my upper thighs and sweat dripping from my nose, to turn the air con up (or down. Or whatever you do to it to make it colder).
I’m still unsure how it happened, but this morning, I found a streak of wax halfway up the bathroom cabinet mirror.
I also appear to have strained one of the gluteals in my left buttock.
My time out, in, has ended, my brain appears to be functioning betterererer and I may now be able to get through the next few days, unscathed.
Or, more to the point, others might survive unscathed, too …