I had it pointed out to me the other day (and lots of other days at various intervals in the weeks, months, and even years preceding that) that I project this if not ‘perfect’ life, then defintely a happy one. Everything is nice and lovely, and my life is awesome.
That I put on this decidedly public “happy face” where everything is lovely and kittens and rainbows and stuff.
It became a bit of problem when I expressed a sadness to someone, and they hadn’t realised, because I’m “always so happy”.
I probably project this, unintentionally at times, because I am, genuinely and generalyl, happy. I’m one of those people who likes a laugh, and laughs at inappropriate things. I also tend to say really inappropriate things at inappropriate times, which makes people laugh, and causes them to see me as “always so happy”.
“Always so happy”, I guess, like say Robin Williams was always so happy.
If I may take a moment to defend myself – and if I may preface this by saying this is not all about me, but something to be aware of in how you may perceive others – I looked back through some of my “you’re projecting this perfect/happy life” personal posts and photos on social media, just to see to what extent I was presenting this perception.
I could see a lot of posts that could be perceived as such; photos of sunrises and the occasional sunset, a lot of “morning”s, and images of my training for my Great (in)SANE Inspired Adventure.
In fairness, they could also have been perceived in a variety of other ways, too.
In reality, some of those photos of sunrises and “Morning” where a struggle. Some were posted because I know they make other people smile, and I like to make other people smile. Some were done because it’s “important to have a consistent social media presence” and to go underground would not be a good business move.
Those who know me well will know that I can barely human before 10.00a.m. on a good day, so there is unlikely to be any “perfectly happy life projection” in anything posted before then.
Functioning, yes. Ecstatic, I have no idea because … well, morning. Morning’s and I are barely on speaking terms.
I do share the odd post or image about how I #lovemyjob – because, well, I do.
Is it perfect and fun and lovable all the time? Hell, no. Just like “I love my kids“.
I simply refuse to buy into the whole “I hate my job” and “Mondays suck” value that most people in this country seem to live by. There’s enough negativity out there without me adding to it.
Do I post photos of my Family Day adventures, particularly now I’m doing my training, with the odd selfie of me? Smiling?
Yes, yes I do. Why am I smiling if my life isn’t “always happy”? Because in that moment, I am happy. I am doing something I enjoy doing and that I love doing.
Does it mean my life is perfect? No.
Does it mean that my kids are content and excited about coming along? That I haven’t spent the morning having to deal with the obligatory tantrums and refusal to go along? No, not it doesn’t.
There are people I know who are dealing with some incredible hardship at the moment; financial, physical, emotional, otherwise. Some have shared their experiences with me, and they have my utmost trust that it stays with me. Their social media – and even their offline personas – don’t give any indication of the torment they are experiencing.
It’s also not mine to share with anyone. So even if I am in that moment deeply saddened and distressed, it’s not may place to project that to anyone else. Whilst I’m standing in front of someone perceiving my life to be “perfect and happy”, inside I’m screaming “You have friends who need you, and you’re too blinded by your stubborn perception to see it”; and I’m not referring to me as being the friend they need.
People put on happy faces, project “my life is awesome” because, honestly, they don’t want to be subject to the advice they get, the inappropriate questions and comments about why they’re doing what they’re doing, and to be told “I’m here for you” when you’re really not. Not at all.
Sometimes, that perception of “always happy” is not so much the projection of “always happy” but more the absence of negativity. Could it simply be they’re not referring to the things in their life that aren’t going so great, that the assumption is that all is fabulous?
It’s a dangerous assumption to make.
I guess what I’m getting at is that we can read anything we want to into anything we see …
This, for example, this is just a sunrise:
I saw it and I liked it. I shared it because if I like it, someone else might like it to. It made me smile, and I shared it because it might make someone else smile, too.
It is not a reflection of anyone’s level of happiness or life-perfectness.
It’s not a complaint. It’s not a brag, nor a bitch about something.
It’s just a sunrise. Pretty, but not perfect.
Beyond that, there is no meaning, no indication of my emotional wellbeing or feelings are in that moment, nor how happy/sad/content/stressed or whatever else I may be … or how anyone else may be.
It’s just a sunrise … you will make of it what you will.
(On another, intriguing note, this is “just a sunset” accompanied by a reflection of just how “fabulous” and “perfect” my life can be at times …
Evening. How was your day? I achieved two very special things: 1. I got myself locked out of my work account whilst I was logged in o.O & 2. I went to google.com & got a page not found message. THAT is talent 🙂
A photo posted by Mad Cow (Amanda Cox) (@madcowsdiary) on