It’s a Friday evening, and I find myself, yet again doing a little bit of research: this time, it’s FUDs.
That’s Female Urination Devices for those not in the know.
Because researching such items is a fun-filled way to spend an evening.
I’m not even being paid for it. Nor have I even been asked to do it.
Nope. It’s all entirely of my own doing. It popped into my head when reading through the information I’ve been sent for my Great Wall for SANE Trek … (I’m going to China, 20 days to go, trekking along the Great Wall, raising funds and awareness for SANE Australia, just in case you weren’t aware :P) … and amongst it all was the notification that toilets (squat or otherwise) are not available on the wall, and perhaps a FUD is worth considering.
Last weekend’s situation only exacerbated the thought; as I was forced to locate a quiet place, behind a tree, squatting, trying hard to curb the anxiety over bugs crawling into my pants or up my bum and convince myself it was a very silly and unlikely scenario (or not .. surely it’s a very likely scenario), in the rain, where my knickers ended up more wet than they would have had I simply just not bothered to partake in the seek-squat-pee thing, and just peed.
(Thankfully, I had also researched, and purchased, some quick dry underwear, designed for trekking, and was trying them out for the first time.)
(I’m also really selling you on this whole trekking, hiking, getting out into the great outdoors, aren’t I?)
This is why I find myself, two weeks running, doing some research on urniation devices for the vaginally adorned..
Ultimately, it’s come down to two choices: The Whiz Freedom or the SheWee, ranked high up on my list based on the numerous reviews and hiking/backpacking/camping blogs that I’ve read. These two are the most highly recommended, for a variety of reasons … you’re beyond caring at this point, aren’t you?
You’re still with me, right?
So … being incapable of making decisions at times, and this is an incredibly important, life changing, world changing decision, I’d like your help.
See, I like pink, but I’ll also admit that I’d really like to rebel against the whole idea that any thing that is invented and marketed specifically for women can only ever be manufactured in pink and/or purple.
Thus why I’m fence sitting on the Whiz Freedom, what with it’s reluctance to come in any other colour than purple.
The SheWee, on the other hand, albeit being mostly about the ickiness of public toilets and not the convience of being in the great outdoors comes in a range of colours. Possibly as a result of compaints around the same gender-conforming colouration of items.
(Admittedly, the “euwww, I can’t sit on a public toilet” tone did cause me a smidge of eye rolling at just how, I don’t
know … ridiculous we appear to have got about some things, when in the greater scheme of things … well, at least we have sewerage systems, although arseheads who piss all over toilet seats and are ignorant, inconsiderate twats doesn’t help.)
Black and green are also my favourite colours. I did attempt to engage in a conversation with my husband around black and penis-imposters, but he put his fingers in his ears, said “Lalalalala” and informed me he didn’t want to have this conversation.
He used to be fun. He then suggested I should get pink, to “match my bits” and sauntered off.
We all know what they say about black though, don’t we?
Yes, that it’s a colour that goes with just about every other colour, and will match my shoes, pants, and top. All very important things when you’re out in the bush and busting for a wee. We all know how fashionable I am, too, don’t well.
As much as I’d like to consider the green, I do have a bit of reluctance around whipping a green appendage out of my knickers for a piddle. Also, what if it blends in to the surroundings and I can’t see where I’m aiming?
If it were you … what would you choose? Please help …