After our stint on 60 Minutes a few weeks back, and reminded of my appoinment with my Ob/Gyn tomorrow, I realise I’m in desperate need of a leg and various other parts wax. One thing I love about my beauty therapist is that she will always make room for me.
Love her to bits.
I ring on the way home from school dropoff and she has a spot for me this afternoon. Hooray. Because you can’t be going to an Ob/Gyn appointment without relevant bits waxed.
I turn up for my “see you in 4 weeks’ 5 and a half monthly, spur of the moment waxing appointment and catch up on the local gossip with the therapist I’ve been appointed this time. Like any normal woman who cleans the house before her cleaner gets there, I subject myself to the perfunctory leg, bikini (not too far in) and underarm wax, and go home to pluck chins and “finish” the bikini line. Giving impending incentive to spice up sex life with hubby – and complete removal of paranoia relating to sex and condoms – I figure I’ll liven up bikini line, too. You never know.
Not game to attempt full Brazillian on my own – again – best left to the experts really, I attempt to “take the sides in a little”. That’s technical talk that beauticians use for, well, taking the sides of your bikini line in a little. Course, it ended up lopsided, so had to even it up by taking a bit more off the left, then the right, then the left again. Not an easy task when you have baby belly hanging in the way.
The end result was a very even, albeit narrow-ish “matchbox” I believe is the technical term.
The consequence of that, is that I ended up with a very fat looking vagina. Much like horizontal stripes on large people. It’s all about illusion and perception.
I hope he apprecites the effort.
Grumpy. Not my gynaecologist.