Underfoot is possible one word that many are able to connect with when it comes to children.
But how about …
Unbelievable – un·be·liev·a·ble [uhn-bi-lee-vuh-buhl]
1. too dubious or improbable to be believed: an unbelievable excuse.
2. so remarkable as to strain credulity; extraordinary: the unbelievable fury of the storm; an unbelievable athlete.
When we first hold our new babe in our arms, we can’t help but wonder at the magnificence and improbability that you were capable of producing such a specimen.
Then it latches to your boob and you sometimes wonder at how unbelievable the pain is. No one told you!
Beyond that, they provide a multitude of unbelievable moments. Firstly, that one so small can poo so much, scream so loud, and vomit such amazing distances.
Even you couldn’t do that in your partying hey day!
Their vocabulary increases and they will spout the most unbelievable stories; of mythical creatures, kids at school, giant anything and everything, and which are basically full of rambling and shit.
They are also capable of feats, both great and not so great, that leave you astounded and incredulous as to how the achieved them. It might be climbing something. It may be running some sort of distance at great speed, and you had no idea how they did it as it generally takes you 45 minutes to walk to the end of the block.
It may be that you hear how they are constantly talking in class, but receive a merit award for their classwork, or that they have totally lost the plot because you put the t-shirts in the wrong side of their drawers.
Underhand – un·der·hand [uhn-der-hand]
1. not open and aboveboard; secret and crafty or dishonorable: an underhand deal with the chief of police.
2. executed with the hand below the level of the shoulder and the palm turned upward and forward: an underhand delivery of a ball.
3. with the hand below the level of the shoulder and the palm turned upward and forward: to bowl underhand.
4. secretly; stealthily; slyly.
Never underestimate the ability of children, of all ages, to do what they need to get what they want.
In just about all cases, and even at most ages including those ages where they ‘should know better’, they aren’t being malicious. Just needy.
Or not even needy. More along the lines of wanty.
What they want is so top of mind they forget everything else, except that if they do things in a certain way, you will say ‘no’ and they won’t get what they want.
So they have to be underhand about it, and have no reservations about using younger siblings and friends to approach you to ask for chips, chocolate, biscuits, to watch a certain something on TV, or for a sleepover … especially during those times when the answer is more likely to be ‘no’.
The develop a knack for hiding wrappings, and for leaving a single biscuit in the container because then they don’t have to be responsible for the empty container.
They will rush dinner so they can have seconds, and more than anyone else, and basically do what they can, subtly, to get what they want/more than someone else/not have to do something.
They do this quite confidently, and without remorse for the feelings of others.
Unfeeling – un·feel·ing [uhn-fee-ling]
1. not feeling; devoid of feeling; insensible or insensate.
2. unsympathetic; callous: an intelligent but unfeeling man.
Kids can often give the impression that they lack empathy, but more often than not they have the capacity to show great concern for others. Their ability to feel emotionally is pretty good, most of the time.
Whilst they can be extremely intuitive, sometimes they are devoid of the capacity to sense or feel your emotions at particular times. Alternatively, they may very well sense them, but not actually give a fuck, and therefore appear unfeeling.
What they do lack, however, is a severe ability to feel such things as cold. The colder things are, and especially whencoupled with stupid things to do in cold weather, like strip off and run into the water at the beach, the lower their ability to feel is.
Subsequently, this affects their ability to feel anything for you, when you are standing there, shivering at the mere sight of them, and becoming distressed about the circumstances post-Stupid Swim. Likely a sudden regaining of the ability to feel the cold, and a large dose of whinging about wet clothes and being cold.
Unrestrained – un·re·strained [uhn-ri-streynd]
1. not restrained or controlled; uncontrolled or uncontrollable: the unrestrained birthrate in some countries.
2. not constrained; spontaneous: unrestrained laughter.
Kids can be unrestrained in many aspects of their lives, but particularly in eating (for some), play, and their ability to demand what it is they want, or in expressing their desires, likes and dislikes.
They are also often unrestrained in their speech, oftentimes contracting a severe bought of verbal diarrhoea, and most definitely unrestrained when it comes to talking loudly when you are ensconced in a public toilet with them, providing a blow by blow account of what you’re doing to the long line outside.
This also extends to explicit conversations with others, where they will happily and unrestrainedly repeat everything you don’t want repeated, and leaving out all the bits you are happy for the person in question to here.
They are also incapable of picking up your ‘shut the fuck up NOW!” cues.
Anything else? What would you like to see included?
Definitions from Dictionary.com