Our dishwasher, it appears, is some sort of diuretic.
Not just this one in the new house. All our dishwashers have been the same.
I don’t think the brand, model or age of the dishwasher has anything to do with it, and, judging by my two youngest children, if you want rapid weight loss, come and visit our dishwasher!
I really have no idea what it is. The two younger ones, Godzilla (11) and Chippie (6) have been allocated the respective tasks of stacking and unstacking the dishwasher at a minimum of two intervals each day. Sometimes more, and less often, less.
Regardless of activities prior to the requirement they perform this task, the second the dishwasher is opened and the first item is placed in/removed from the dishwasher, they immediately need to go to the toilet.
This will happen even if they have just been.
Sometimes it’s just a wee, although more likely this request that they tend to one of their twice-daily chores induces the need to expunge their bowels.
Given that the stacking/unstacking of the dishwasher is specifically listed as one of their before school requirements, along with eating breakfast, getting dressed, packing their bags, and finding their fucking shoes, it can significantly slow the morning routine down.
By ‘significantly’ I mean something like fifteen to twenty minutes of shitting. Shitting in the toilet, and shitting me.
This has been a phenomena we have been experiencing for some seven years, since Godzilla was allocated the responsibility of one of the Dishwasher Duties.
Which is why it surprised me when Grumpy wandered in between jobs during the Morning From Hell Before School Routine, to find the bench covered in dishes, the dishwasher door open, a few clean items on another bench to be put away, and most items still in the dishwasher, and asked “Where’s Chippie?”
I looked at him. Incredulous.
“Doing a poo,” I reply. Rather unnecessarily, I thought.
“Is he on the toilet?” I am asked.
“Well, I fucking hope so, or the morning is really going to turn to shit,” is all I can respond with.
And I just go about my daily business, making lunches and trying to not lose my mind …