It’s Godzilla’s tenth birthday today.
By the time he arose from the warmth of his bed this morning, we still hadn’t purchased his birthday present. I was all ready with the acceptable excuse that “Dad is at work, we’d like him to be here when you get your present.”
arsehead darling big brother informed him that he was getting no present from us, as the Hermit Crab Called Jared and associated paraphernalia cost a bundle and we had contributed to that, so there was no present forthcoming.
My overtired,full of snot and Mother Guilt head then had to quell the sadness of the birthday boy.
And make school lunches. Et cetera.
As I farewelled Godzilla at school and wished him a fabulous day, he enquired as to whether I would be arriving early, arms laden with beautifully crafted cup cakes so he may celebrate this auspicious occasion with his classmates.
I said I’d try, but not promising, and returned home to make attempts at washing approximately 13 loads of Items that Require Immediate Washing, and catching up on some work.With Chippie demanding to be entertained.
I managed two small items on my List, those that needed doing, then enquired as to whether Chippie would like to assist me in making some cupcakes for school.
Being the Domestic Godless that I am, and now fully embracing it due to my Care Factor plummeting exponentially, I went for the easy recipe. Ingredients measured and mixing commenced, it is, inevitably, at this point that I discover I am all out of caster sugar.
A quick phone call to Grumpy Pants, during which he laughs at me, again, and I find an acceptable replacement.
I cannot be arsed with icing and time is running out. And despite my significantly reduced Care Factor, I still can’t send them to school naked, as they currently appear.
I contemplated a smattering of brightly coloured, mini choc rocks, however, it appears the entire container had been eaten by the twelve year old! As one does for an afternoon snack.
Thankfully, I am also blessed with the inability to determine needs for catering and am the proud owner of two and a half packets of leftover lollies from the weekend’s creation. A splodge of writing icing – because it is never used to actually write with, that would require skills beyond my capabilities – and a lolly jammed on top.
I step back to admire my creation and it hits me; I think I have officially just given up on life …
I arrived at school with time to spare and all the cupcakes were eaten. There is merit to being half-arsed with some things. With other things; kids just don’t care … it’s a cake, with a lolly on it, it will be eaten and loved.
A quick call to Grumpy Pants to ensure he was able to acquire The Birthday Present and if he was under control with its assembly. I kill some time by buying milk, send a text to see if it’s ok to come home and am sent a short reply.
Too easy. It’ll take that long to get home with a detour or two.
We pull up the drive and can hear much banging and clanking behind the gate. Godzilla is oblivious to this and before I can grab the video or still camera, he races out side to speak to Monkey Boy.
The basketball stand we have purchased for him is in several, semi-constructed pieces. Monkey Boy is helping Grumpy Pants, and there is a lot of discussion.
Godzilla runs around in excitement and does bugger all to help, other than persistently and relentlessly stressing about when the net would be placed on the ring.
I’m recruited to assist by first making a cup of tea, then holding various bits whilst Grumpy Pants attempted to shove screws in and Monkey Boy insisted things were “the wrong way around”. Pull everything apart and start again.
Chippie, meanwhile added his help:
And once he got sick of throwing balls at everyone’s head, he entertained himself with the wheels that were still to be added to the construction.
Then pulling them apart and shoving much needed parts into holes …
The item is finally constructed and Monkey Boy adds the finishing touches:
It is moved into place and ready to use.
It. Is. Done.
Two hours after the “15 minutes” text was received.
Hurrah! A record.
It is also very dark, the mozzies are out and Godzilla needs to leave for his guitar lesson. Dinner isn’t ready and we’re all tired and hungry.
Happy 10th Birthday my Middlest One!